Super Mario 3D Land

Ok, lets get started with the blog in earnest at the most appropriate place: Mario. Super Mario Bros. Released back in old-timey 1985, it pretty much singlehandedly sparked off interest in the NES and thus gaming as a whole, so what better place to start my blog.

Back in the days where all you needed to make a game was a ton of LSD.

Super Mario 3D Land is a terrible title. There is nothing more dating than putting 3D in something’s title. Alright maybe “new” is worse. Yes we know Nintendo the “3D”S plays 3D games, you don’t need to remind us. Of course, with a name that deviates so little from the DS, maybe you do. The other problem that arises from the title is the notion that it has anything to do with the original Super Mario Land series on the Gameboy.

Pictured above: exceeding the recommended dosage of LSD.

So the game is in 3D and not part of the original Gameboy series, but the real question is: how does it play? Super Mario 3DS Land is probably the first 3DS game that successfully shows off the 3D capacity of the 3DS. The game brings back the Tanooki Suit (or Racoon suit if you’re anything like me), long absent from the series. What is a Tanooki you may ask? A Tanuki is a Japanese racoon-dog often depicted as having comically large testicles (By the way, that was the logic for the flight ability in Super Mario Bros. 3, Tanukis, in folklore, can fly by using their testicles…so remember your childhood fondly). The Tanooki Suit looses its flight ability, but it makes up for it by adding to Mario’s unadulterated swaggar.

The salad bar is open ladies!

In all seriousness, Super Mario 3D Land is a first for the series. It is the first time that a Mario game has embraced both its 3D (read Mario 64, not stuff coming out at you) and 2D roots. This is an open 3D game, but keeping the tight linear nature of the 2D Marios. Not coincidentally I’m sure, Super Mario 3D Land resembles Super Mario Bros. 3 more than any game in the series. The pacing and general “feel” of the gameplay mirrors the NES classic, while adding elements of the original Super Mario Bros. such as the end of level flag. The game is easy, really easy, I mean Mario in that Tanooki Suit easy.

Bringing the sexy, one pixel at a time.

However, the ease of the game isn’t that bad. This is because when you beat the game you unlock eight special worlds basically doubling the gameplay, and those levels add much more of a challenge (although barely). To say this game is the best original handheld Mario isn’t much of a stretch, its really either this or The New Super Mario Brothers (no, I’m not going to mention Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins…Damnit!), so lets give it to this. The levels are better and it manages to be just as retro as NSMB, while also doing quite a bit of innovating. So hats off Mario factory, as expected you made a pretty damn good game with the worlds favourite fireball throwing, turtle killing, pipe climbing, mushroom eating, cake seeking, testicle flying, plumber.

No not this one, although they do share the love of hallucinogenics 

– Mistranslations for the Modern Gamer

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