Don’t be Stupid Internet: Metal Gear Revengeance

So a couple of years ago, Kojima Productions announced Metal Gear: Rising. In this game, you played the infamous Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2, and the hook was that you could cut through everything. Well we haven’t heard much from that game since. It turns out that is because the game was cancelled. However, Kojima Productions gave Platinum Studios the right to work on its dead husk. This game has been revealed to be Metal Gear: Revengeance . The game is over the top to an insane degree and the internet, in particular Metal Gear Solid fans are raging to an extreme level. Well they need to stop being stupid.

Although I don’t blame them for hating this douchebag
Here’s the thing, internet, the Metal Gear series has never in its existence not been extremely over the top. Just listen to the names of the villains in Metal Gear Solid: Revolver Ocelot (I wonder what weapon he uses), Decoy Octopus, Sniper Wolf, Psycho Mantis, Vulcan Raven, Liquid Snake. Psycho Mantis breaks the fourth wall and uses mind reading and telekinesis against you. Vulcan Raven has muscles that put Marcus Fenix to shame. These men (and women, woo) aren’t just a special ops team, they are supernatural. I’m not even mentioning the cyborg ninja. Yes, our less than fresh faced Raiden up there isn’t the only cyborg ninja in the series, there have been three. 
Above: Realism
Metal Gear Solid 2 doesn’t help the realism and not over the top case. The mechas in the game roar. I just wanted to get that out of the way. The machines make noises like animals. There is a woman who can block bullets with her luck, and then there’s Vamp. Vamp can’t die. He can run over water, dodge bullets, run up walls, jump high in the air and survives being shot in the head. THESE GAMES ARE OVER THE TOP! Sorry, I lost myself a little there.
This is Fatman, there’s nothing unrealistic about him, but I thought he’d like in on this.
Metal Gear Solid 3 has a Soviet General who can emit lighting from his hands. It has ghosts, and it has John Woo style Close Quarter Combat. Metal Gear Solid 4 tries to explain all of the supernatural stuff with nanomachines, which in my book doesn’t make them any less over the top. In that, heavily lauded, game, our friend Raiden gets his arms and a leg cut off (he’s a cyborg so don’t worry) and he still fights, while holding his sword in his mouth (yeah, cyborg ninjas use swords, go figure). These are the beloved classics that Metal Gear: Revengeance is stepping on with its outlandishness. 
Can’t find a good image, so here’s Vamp and Raiden engaging in a cuddle
Metal Gear: Revengeance  is over the top. It is really over the top, but it is not inconsistent with the series. One of the great charms of the Metal Gear Solid series is the fact that its a tough western political thriller, filled with anime tropes and wackiness. This over the top feature is what makes the series endearing. Without it, all Metal Gear is, is Splinter Cell and none of us want that.
Go to hell Fisher, you dead-eyed husk of a human being!
The studio that is making the game, Platinum Studios, is one of the absolute best rising game companies out there right now. They made Bayonetta. That was a game about a seven foot, lolipop-sucking, gun-footed witch whose clothes were made of her own hair. Platinum knows over the top. They sleep with over the top like I sleep with my pillow shaped like Daniel Craig (Even a straight guy has to submit to the Craig). Yes, Metal Gear: Revengeance  will be an action game, and not a stealth game, but we knew that when it was announced as Rising. Yes, Kojima Productions has outsourced the series. The important thing is that the series is in really, really capable hands. So stop being stupid internet.
We’ll be together one day
– Mistranslations for the Modern Gamer
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