Everything about Pokemon is absolutely crazy, but does anyone really question the insanity anymore? I mean, the fact that scores of 10 year old children are being sent out of their homes without an education to train monsters is ludicrous, but to fans, that is simply the introduction to a new Pokemon game. So today, I’m going to highlight three of the craziest, most irresponsible, most despicable problems in the Pokemon game series that passes as normal.
|The line between cute Pikachu and sadistic torturer blurs when they use the same methods to break an opponent.|
|This is the solution to overcrowded prisons. Pokemon don’t even get food.|
2.) The Economy
In Pokemon, there are various jobs people can have around the world to make money. Many trainers fought are part-time Pokemon trainers, who take a break from their jobs, but one thing can be certain: the world in Pokemon revolves entirely around Pokemon. From Poke Centres to huge corporations, everyone is totally preoccupied with Pokemon. There aren’t any services available for humans really at all. Look at Poke Centres for example. They are free Pokemon clinics, which we can only assume are government subsidized. Notice that, in the Pokemon world, there aren’t any hospitals. If a person gets injured or sick then too bad, but Pokemon get all of their many, many wounds healed with taxpayer money. When trainers battle, the loser is forced to give half of their money to the winner. This doesn’t sound too bad, until you notice that you can challenge anyone from old crippled women, to five year old children. One great moment in Pokemon history came near the beginning of Black and White when your character happens upon a preschool. Of course, you are under obligation to not only almost kill all of the poor boys and girls’ cherished pets, but then to take their money.
|Oh aren’t you cute. Tell you what. I’m going to beat the crap out of your dog, and then you’re going to give me your lunch money|
The government in Pokemon is almost non-existant. In fact at times it seems that the Poke League of each region is the real government. This would go a long way towards explaining why Pokemon are such national concerns. Frequently the Pokemon League champion is just travelling around the region doing whatever he wants. Lance in Pokemon Gold and Silver just declares himself a detective and tries to stop Team Rocket’s nefarious schemes. The champion in Black and White is given similar freedom and the question has to be asked whether or not there even is a government in the Poke world. There is a police force, but they almost prove there is no government through their sheer incompetence. Do you know who foils the plans of the various crime syndicates all over the world? It’s not the police. It’s a bunch of children. From regular police to special detectives, all authority in Pokemon games rely on children, exclusively, to solve their problems, and at no time does anyone think there is a problem with that.
|Yes, Pokemon uses Scooby Doo logic. Think about that.|
These are only the three biggest concerns with the Pokemon world. There are hundreds of little horrors that pop up on a daily basis that aren’t nearly as obvious. Perhaps, at a later date, I’ll go through a couple more. Whether you’re forcing Pokemon to battle each other under Thunderdome conditions, or enjoying absolutely all of the zero services for humans, or even wondering why that police officer is starring blankly at the wall, remember that this is Pokemon, and Pokemon is insane.
– Mistranslations for the Modern Gamer